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Are you Living to Work? – Part 21

The emotional stress of compromise

How many of us have the career we thirst for? Who has turned down opportunities due to our family circumstances? Falling short of our career aspirations due to making compromises may cause stress. It may have been in our own hands, but it slipped passed us and now there is only frustration and regret.

Pragmatism is about getting things done and is much lauded by many people. However, to achieve a result we often make compromises, which may be a positive thing to do to be able to move forward. But, for some compromise isn’t an approach to get to an outcome, so much as a resignation to fate. I would like to change jobs but…

• I have a guaranteed income (until I am made redundant)
• My family are settled
• I am unsure if I could change now
• My pension is crucial
• At least I know this job
• I have the skills to do my current job

So, we sit in a job, which has some merits, and think wistfully about how life could have turned out in other circumstances. It is easier to go along with the status quo than be radical. There is an amount of security in the known, even if the greater opportunities, fun and satisfaction lie elsewhere.

Therefore, we are compromising and becoming more frustrated every day. The pressure builds until it is stress:

• We hate the thought of going to do a job we used to like
• Every evening has the Sunday night sense of dread
• Meetings are feared
• Targets and commitments are missed because our job drains us of the energy needed 
• The once very rare days off work are multiplying
• Headaches are genuinely increasing

And all because we are compromising. Even the current job might be better with a few tweaks, so what are they? Have you even thought about it?

Rob Ball
Contact:
07850 954075
rob.ball@workhorizons.com
rob.ball@naturallyconcerned.com

Websites:
Work Horizons – Organisational renewal through engaged, productive people
Naturally Concerned – Developing Better Business Leaders
www.framingourfuture.com

Books:
Beating the Wisdom of Hindsight: 75 Ways to Pursue Fulfilment and Avoid Regrets eBook : Ball, Rob:
Amazon.co.uk
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Time-Sponges-Overcoming-behaviours-absorb/

Online Programs:
Empower Change by Learning to Live Well (indegu.co.uk)
Expanding Your Work Horizons (indegu.co.uk)

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Are you Living to Work? – Part 20

The emotional stress of accepting your career fate

Many of us find a job, become competent and accept the inevitability of doing it until someone says stop. We can rationalise our fate to avoid confronting it and taking action. So, we lie back and think of the hours outside of the workplace. It is never too late to change. Change to what? 

One difficulty inherent in accepting the fate of the perennial job is that the hand of fate may well come and stop us earlier than we expected and at an inconvenient time. In this situation we are ceding complete control of our life to someone else. 

We must take back control and do it soon. This is not something for another time or when circumstances vary, it needs to be addressed. 

• What will excite me at work?
• Where can I find it?
• In which areas do I need to improve?
• Do I need to re-train or go to college?
• Will this impact on my family life?
• Are my family supportive?

Even if you are enjoying your job today, what will it be like in 12 months’ time? Is technology being introduced? Might the company be re-structured?

Benjamin Franklin wrote,”In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes”. Wipe away complacency and the warmth of your well-known job and test the situation for certainty.

Rob Ball
Contact:
07850 954075
rob.ball@workhorizons.com
rob.ball@naturallyconcerned.com

Websites:
Work Horizons – Organisational renewal through engaged, productive people
Naturally Concerned – Developing Better Business Leaders
www.framingourfuture.com

Books:
Beating the Wisdom of Hindsight: 75 Ways to Pursue Fulfilment and Avoid Regrets eBook : Ball, Rob:
Amazon.co.uk
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Time-Sponges-Overcoming-behaviours-absorb/

Online Programs:
Empower Change by Learning to Live Well (indegu.co.uk)
Expanding Your Work Horizons (indegu.co.uk)

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Are you Living to Work? – Part 19

The emotional stress of a job you hate

Beyond boredom is the emotional weight of stress that comes from being in a job which you loathe. The clock moves slowly, the focal point of the day is home time and productivity is low. But you may be caught by the secure income, the logistics of life, in the compromise of your existence.

A great curse in any fact of life is boredom, the sense of ennui. The irony is boredom becomes enveloping and prevents us from escaping; it is the promoter of inertia. We know we need to break away but sit waiting for a rescue which isn’t going to occur. It is the same attitude that prevails when the person knows they want another job and hopes the perfect role miraculously appears in a surprise email or letter. It can and will only happen if you take action.

How debilitating is it when you get out of bed in the morning knowing a very long day stretches out in front of you and it will be the same tomorrow, and the next day and the next week…?

Sadly, the frustrations you feel may affect your home life as well. One of the temptations is to fill the rest of your life with interesting things and then fail to spend enough time with the family and friends. An alternative scenario is you become as boring as your job is to you. You have a responsibility to yourself and those you love to still be the lively and interesting person you always were.

Does your family know how you feel?

Does your boss know?

Do you know what it is that bores you?

What could change to alleviate the tedium?

Is there another job in the organisation which would be more fun?

Do you need new skills?

Rob Ball
Contact:
07850 954075
rob.ball@workhorizons.com
rob.ball@naturallyconcerned.com

Websites:
Work Horizons – Organisational renewal through engaged, productive people
Naturally Concerned – Developing Better Business Leaders
www.framingourfuture.com

Books:
Beating the Wisdom of Hindsight: 75 Ways to Pursue Fulfilment and Avoid Regrets eBook : Ball, Rob:
Amazon.co.uk
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Time-Sponges-Overcoming-behaviours-absorb/

Online Programs:
Empower Change by Learning to Live Well (indegu.co.uk)
Expanding Your Work Horizons (indegu.co.uk)

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Are you Living to Work? – Part 18

The emotional stress of an unfulfilling job

Very few people want a job just for the money, but many have jobs which are solely to provide income. Who wouldn’t want an occupation which stimulates, interests, or satisfies them?  As more than two-thirds of people in employment are unsatisfied, they are hardly likely to bounce out of bed in the morning.

Not only 70% of people have unsatisfying jobs, one person in seven would actively damage the business for which they work. If it is that awful, why stay? It really is time to assertively address the issue of job hunting.

It is easier to find a new job if you are in employment, whether that makes sense or not. To take action to change our lives should begin before something dramatic, like losing a job, happens. People stay in unfulfilling jobs for a wide range of reasons:

• Guaranteed income
• Loyalty to the boss or colleagues
• Pension scheme
• Location
• Inertia
• Family pressure

“People will choose unhappiness over uncertainty” Tim Ferriss

Of course, the primary reason people stay in their current role is the lack of an attractive alternative. If they had taken time to work out what would provide stimulation and meaning, they would be In a position to look for it. 

If the job you are in feels unfulfilling, but the company is fundamentally sound, perhaps the questions are:

• What could I change to make it more stimulating?
• What could my boss change to motivate me?
• Can I move roles or tweak the one I am in?
• Does my boss know how I feel?
• How do I approach my boss to ask for help?
• What happens if my boss feels threatened and takes it out on me?

We frequently need to have difficult conversations and yet, too often prefer to remain silent and endure the frustrations. Very often the prospect of the discussion is much worse than the reality. 

Rob Ball
Contact:
07850 954075
rob.ball@workhorizons.com
rob.ball@naturallyconcerned.com

Websites:
Work Horizons – Organisational renewal through engaged, productive people
Naturally Concerned – Developing Better Business Leaders
www.framingourfuture.com

Books:
Beating the Wisdom of Hindsight: 75 Ways to Pursue Fulfilment and Avoid Regrets eBook : Ball, Rob:
Amazon.co.uk
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Time-Sponges-Overcoming-behaviours-absorb/

Online Programs:
Empower Change by Learning to Live Well (indegu.co.uk)
Expanding Your Work Horizons (indegu.co.uk)

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Are you Living to Work? – Part 17

The emotional stress of unemployment

For most people unemployment is a threat to their way of life. There may be a loss of identity and status. It may cause financial difficulties. There may be issues caused by knock-backs in the job hunt processes. Inevitably, the impact has the potential to affect the individual and the family.

Whilst there are a few people who prefer to be unemployed, we are not a nation of scroungers. For most people unemployment is a state they wish to avoid or escape as quickly as possible. We find some people have their identity integrated with their job, which may mean there is an additional psychological issue to overcome. 

Of course, the loss of salary may have a negative effect quite quickly and, therefore, the temptation or necessity is to take the first job offered. This may be crucial but may also have detrimental longer-term ramifications. This is not to suggest people hold out for the perfect job and, in the time taken, put their home and relationship in jeopardy. Let’s try and bring the two together.

For most people, the job hunt process will include applications which are unsuccessful. Not getting a job isn’t rejection, it is merely recognition someone else was more closely aligned to the requirements. But it can feel like rejection and needs rational thought to prevent it becoming a psychological barrier.

Is your family supportive? Can they help you? Do you have someone with whom you can discuss both the processes of job hunt or creating a business, and the emotional rollercoaster you are experiencing?

Rob Ball
Contact:
07850 954075
rob.ball@workhorizons.com
rob.ball@naturallyconcerned.com

Websites:
Work Horizons – Organisational renewal through engaged, productive people
Naturally Concerned – Developing Better Business Leaders
www.framingourfuture.com

Books:
Beating the Wisdom of Hindsight: 75 Ways to Pursue Fulfilment and Avoid Regrets eBook : Ball, Rob:
Amazon.co.uk
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Time-Sponges-Overcoming-behaviours-absorb/

Online Programs:
Empower Change by Learning to Live Well (indegu.co.uk)
Expanding Your Work Horizons (indegu.co.uk)

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Are you Living to Work? – Part 16

Dealing with stress

Stress can be a positive force for change or a debilitating drain on your energy. The first and key stage is understanding the causes of the stress and its effects on you. This is one of those situations in which you must be honest with yourself and those close to you. Frequently, the threat of something happening is far worse than the reality.

These are issues on the same spectrum ranging from an unhealthy reaction to circumstances, to being overconfident and dismissive of potential negative consequences.

Step one in dealing with stress is to identify the negative stimuli and the reasons they are having an adverse effect on you. The same factors will affect different people in a variety of ways, so be as specific and clear as possible.

Step two is decide whether the issues are real or psychological. For example, not having enough money to pay the bills is a problem but only having half-a-billion pounds isn’t. If this sounds fatuous it is the reported reaction of a guy with assets of around $500 million but believed he would only be secure when he had doubled it. To most of us this is incredible but was real to him.

Step three is either to truly accept there isn’t an issue, or it isn’t as significant as our mind is telling us, or find solutions. One thing is certain, doing something is much better than waiting for someone to come and solve it for you.

Who can help you to either sort out the nature of the issues or find answers?

This may seem obvious, but it is worth being explicit, only take drugs under the supervision of a doctor; do not self-medicate.

Rob Ball
Contact:
07850 954075
rob.ball@workhorizons.com
rob.ball@naturallyconcerned.com

Websites:
Work Horizons – Organisational renewal through engaged, productive people
Naturally Concerned – Developing Better Business Leaders
www.framingourfuture.com

Books:
Beating the Wisdom of Hindsight: 75 Ways to Pursue Fulfilment and Avoid Regrets eBook : Ball, Rob:
Amazon.co.uk
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Time-Sponges-Overcoming-behaviours-absorb/

Online Programs:
Empower Change by Learning to Live Well (indegu.co.uk)
Expanding Your Work Horizons (indegu.co.uk)

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