Returning to the Workplace

Returning to the Workplace

This is for parents and guardians, whose children are now at school, and now it’s time to return to the workplace.

There can be some serious challenges returning to work after years out of the workplace. Some of them are logistical – how to find work that fits around school pick-up times and school holidays – some are psychological – is it even possible do get back into a career and work mindset – and some are practical – just how do I approach my job hunt?

Preparing your mindset for returning to work

Everyone’s situation and circumstances are different, so there is no simple template or process to follow. For anyone job hunting there are pressures and frustrations, but for you there may be the overlaid issues of childcare, running the home and balancing numerous metaphorical plates simultaneously.

From our discussions with many parents, mainly moms, we know there are a range of psychological issues to confront even before the job hunt process begins. Of course, not all of these are applicable to all parents and guardians but to consider some general headings:

– Guilt. It may sound harsh to begin with a big downer, but it is very real for some people. The expectations of society generally, of family and the “moral overseers” can impose pressure, even though it might be subtle.

– Nerves. It has been so long since you were in a workplace and, presumably, much has changed. Remember presumption is the mother of fools; you will be amazed at how much is the same but later we will reflect on some changes.

– Confidence, or lack of it. You will need to deal with this directly, either with a coach (friend or professional) or think through the issues for yourself. This won’t be easy, but you have many strengths, and they have to be your focus.

– Threats to your current way of life. If you do nothing, nothing can change for the worse; it certainly can’t change for the better and the frustrations, restrictions and inertia will continue. It could impact on your relationship if your partner doesn’t understand how you feel.

If there is one theme which will permeate through all of our advice, it is ensure great communication: with your family and friends, any coach, any agency, and all prospective employers. To achieve this it is fundamental to recognise this comes from the three aspects of communication:

– Transmission. The things we say or write, the way we say them and when we say them.

– The capacity of the other person to receive the message.

– The success of the other person to understand the message.

Communication is one of the least well performed activities, yet it is one we all practise the most. 

Do you have valuable assets?

The questions we are asked frequently are:

– Are my skills still relevant?

– What if I have forgotten everything?

– How will I be able to catch up with the changes in technology?

– How will I be able to have conversations with adults, after years of dealing with young children?

– What have I got to offer an employer?

The first thing to recognise is these are very typical and, if you have any self-doubts, it is a normal reaction. Don’t beat yourself up for having these thoughts.

You don’t lose skills, albeit they may need to be revisited and updated. What courses could you take now?

Mankind is a species which loves to learn and your capacity to acquire new information has not diminished just because you haven’t been in the world of work.

You will be able to have “proper” conversations, just remember not to treat your boss like four-year-old!!

Perhaps the most important aspect of this return to work to think through is, what additionally have I to offer? Some perspectives:

– Looking after children in a huge demonstration of your ability to accept responsibility

– You have been dealing with new challenges every day and doing so successfully

– You have been adapting your communication skills to a very wide range of audiences

– Health and Safety are you raison d’etre

– You have been working 24/7 for years

– You can balance priorities and react to mini-crises

– You have become more creative and lateral thinking

– You have dealt with complex logistical issues

In essence, you are remarkable and a hero. Far from lacking self-confidence, you should be proud of your achievements and your successes. The key is being able to describe your extra talents to prospective employers and, crucially, be able to give examples in a manner which demonstrates transferability to the workplace.

Why?

Why do you want to work? 

Of course, for most people returning to the workplace a key factor is money. Extra mouth(s) to feed, savings diminishing, pressure on the partner to provide, sacrifices already made and the need to live a slightly less restricted life.

There are parts of your brain and psyche unfulfilled. Emotionally, looking after children is very satisfying but not intellectually.

You have loads to offer, society, your family, an employer, the community…

There may be a sense of it’s now or never. Whilst this isn’t true in itself, there may be a growing feeling of distance between you and the workplace.

You can do something which will make a difference. Life isn’t just transactional, there are times when each of us can be impactful.

Why are you considering a specific type of work?

Are you only thinking about going back into the same type of role you were in before childcare? Why?

Are you “managing your own expectations”? Are you only thinking about junior roles, even when you have great potential?

Are you making a compromise, even before exploring what is available?

Have you lost confidence in yourself to learn new skills?

Do you think you don’t have leadership talents?

Hopefully, you are reading these questions and thinking something like, I am better than “the me” for which I am giving myself credit. Do not underestimate or undersell yourself. The clever part of job hunting is translating the things you do naturally into tangible examples an employer can see will be valuable.

Why do you not want to do some things?

Is this a point of principle? Have you described your principles and values clearly? For many people any job in a tobacco company would be totally unacceptable but what about in the nuclear energy sector? How would some industries feel for vegetarians? You need to think through these questions.

Are some jobs too physically demanding? Do you have limitations, or have you allowed yourself to become unfit?

Do you know some jobs would be too boring? How do you know? What have you done to establish the types of roles which would marry with your personality and preferences? In our changing world what research have you done into the sorts of work available?

Why are you prevaricating?

It isn’t about making decisions, it is about taking actions. You need to know what you are looking for and, together with the people that matter to you, have made decisions but your biggest enemy is inertia. Get on with it.

This may not be the exact right time to apply for jobs, but it may be the time to carry out your research or undertake some training.

How many people do you need to “approve” your decision to go back to work? Don’t allow yourself to find excuses. This is easy to say but caught up in the mayhem of day-to-day life more difficult to do. Only you can make thigs happen.

Why does the thought of something motivate or demotivate you? 

Some ideas, businesses, organisations or causes stir us. They make us want to be involved, they are the difference between getting out of bed in the morning and bouncing out of bed. Alternatively, they make us think up excuses for staying in bed.

What would excite you? Who inspires you?

What turns you off? Who do you dislike? 

Do you know what you want from a job? Do you know what it looks like and how to find it?

There is a fascinating book by Simon Sinek, entitled Start with Why. It is the right place to begin.

The logistics of being employed

How much flexibility do you need?

What hours can you work?

What are the childcare arrangements?

How far can you travel to work?

How will you get there?

What will happen if a child has a virus?

Is it possible to work from home?

What are your support mechanisms?

By asking these, possibly difficult questions, we are NOT trying to put you off seeking a job. We do believe for yourself and a potential employer you need to know the answers. 

Enlightened employers will make accommodations and adjustments for parents because they know they are valuable people. They recognise being a good employer generates loyalty, commitment, and productivity. Sadly, that isn’t every employer and part of your research will be to look into the culture of prospective employers.

At an interview the employer cannot ask questions which may be discriminatory. Therefore, it may be a good idea to take the initiative and to demonstrate you have thought about potential issues, know the answers and will be a thoroughly diligent asset to them. Impress with your forethought and commitment. Remember, you are trying to differentiate yourself positively from any other candidates.

Personal Parameters

Do you know how much you want or need to earn?

Have you calculated in any costs of childcare?

Have you considered the by-products of a career (more than a job)? Travel, long hours, taking work home, being on call 24/7, the stresses and pressures or exciting contrast with the mundane aspects of life?

We have already considered the logistics of being employed, this is more about the psychological aspects.

There will be feelings of guilt for “abandoning the child(ren).

There may be discomfort at imposing on friends and relatives to absorb part of the role bringing up and keeping safe the kids.

There may be tensions with a partner who believes you should remain at home.

However, the greatest issue may be the one that work becomes the preferred place to be. It excites, it challenges, it gives clear successes, it provides the intellectual stimulation not available at home. This does not say don’t go for it, it says be aware of it and make sure you have the fabulous balance that is available. Create the right environment to be successful in every aspect of your life and the lives of the people you love and those who employ you. In simple terms, be the best person you can be, but to achieve that you first have to describe what that person looks like.

Finding employment processes

The best piece of advice is plan, do not imagine you can be haphazard in your approach or can busk an interview. Think the 5 Ps; Proper Preparation Prevents Poor Performance.

Job Sources

– It is estimated 70% of all vacancies aren’t advertise, so use all of your connections

– JobCentrePlus are notified of some

– Even in the 21st Century, a few are in newspapers

– Agencies have many, but some agencies are less effective than others; do your research for agencies operating in the area of your interest

– There are numerous online sites showing jobs in different sectors

The CV

– Two pages

– No typos or mistakes

– NO LYING

– Emphasise achievements rather than responsibilities

– Tailor to the vacancy

Recruitment Processes

– Most people assume there will be an interview, so why are so many people underprepared, including knowing what your own CV says

– Be ready to ask intelligent questions

– Take your time and don’t gabble

– If you don’t understand the question, ask for clarity

– Be bold and don’t undersell yourself and don’t think the interviewers will instantly recognise your value. Help them by telling them evidence

– Give examples. Saying you can do something has 10% of the value of an explanation of a time when you did it

– There may be other elements such as psychometric testing, practicals, trial periods and assessment centres

Rejection

– It will probably happen to everyone, and you need to be resilient

– It is a statement there was someone with more relevant experience, not that you are a bad person

– Think through any lessons to be learned

An offer

– It will happen

– Is it a job you really want?

– Is the wage/salary negotiable?

– Are you waiting to hear about another job application which you might prefer? It is the result of an obscure law of fate that this may occur

– Even if this isn’t the perfect job there will be oodles of learning opportunities, it is easier to get a job when you are in one, it pays, and it will re-stimulate positive habits

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