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Are you Living to Work? – Part 3

What really matters to you?

This might be about relationships, work, animals, the planet or a myriad of other things. However, have you taken the time to ask yourself, deep down, what matters? For what would you risk your life? What would make you bounce out of bed in the morning with excitement? Is there anything for which you would give up time or money?

Too often people focus on things which really don’t matter, the trivia of life. Why do we allow ourselves to get wound up about other drivers being too slow at traffic lights or fellow customers packing their bags in the supermarket ponderously? These are things which, in the broader scheme of life are inconsequential, yet drain our emotional batteries. It is time to change the focus and address the fundamental but difficult conundrum, what matters to me?

This quest to recognise what matters can be in a number of compartments, such as family, work or politics, but it would be naïve to think they don’t overlap and impinge on each other.

The basis for this investigation of ourselves are our values. Have you evaluated yours?

What are values?

Perhaps they could be described as, “a person’s principles or standards of behaviour; one’s judgment of what is important in life” Source: Oxford Dictionary

How do we work out what ours are?

You may wish to give some thought to this subject before trying to clarify yours but, if not now but when you are ready, begin the to review Defining Values below:

Defining Values

People do not have one set of values which never alter. In our early days, inevitably we adopt the values and norms of our parents and other family members. As time passes and experiences grow, we establish a gradually developing set of our own. Generally, although there are key moments which influence us, this is an evolving process. However, this process is probing the principles by which you want to live and the role in life which will meet them, so how can we describe them.

There cannot be a simple one size fits all method but here are 6 steps which may help you:

1. Create a draft of the principles by which you think you would like to live. Try using your preferred search engine to research the ideas of other people. At this stage do not just accept these and think the job is complete
2. Consider a time which was very challenging for you and reflect how you reacted. Were you proud of your behaviour or did you regret some of it? As ever, this exercise demands you are honest with yourself, so now test your actions against the draft list you created in stage 1. Does it clarify, enhance or prompt changes?
3. Observe your own actions and how they make you feel. If you tell a white lie or make up an excuse for not completing a task on time, internally, what is the reaction? If your wait for someone to come through a door and they thank you, does it stir an emotion? Are these simple examples in line with your list?
4. When making decisions against which principles to you test your outcomes? Do you even think about them, how they may affect other people and the consequences? Frequently, whilst our values may lurk in the background they are not explicitly involved. Think of a decision you took which didn’t result in the desired outcome and consider if any principles were ignored or if new ones could have prevented the failure. Test against the list in stage 1.
5. We all attend meetings, whether in a more formal work setting or informal social one, in which people say things with which we disagree. Do you ever challenge them? Would you like to have a debate but feel it could be impolitic? Do you know why you disagree? These are not questions about your social skills but about your views of right and wrong (or less right). Make a note of some of these examples and check against your list.
6. Now it is time for you to make a list of the values which matter to you. This will be continuously reflected on by you, but it is a firm basis to consider career options. If you feel there may be unnecessary compromises included go back and challenge yourself.

The biggest concern is you have created a list which is socially acceptable rather than values which matter to you. Only you will know but it isn’t your family or friends looking for fulfilment it is you and your values are the ones that must prevail.

Rob Ball
Contact:
07850 954075
rob.ball@workhorizons.com
rob.ball@naturallyconcerned.com

Websites:
Work Horizons – Organisational renewal through engaged, productive people
Naturally Concerned – Developing Better Business Leaders
www.framingourfuture.com

Books:
Beating the Wisdom of Hindsight: 75 Ways to Pursue Fulfilment and Avoid Regrets eBook : Ball, Rob:
Amazon.co.uk
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Time-Sponges-Overcoming-behaviours-absorb/

Online Programs:
Empower Change by Learning to Live Well (indegu.co.uk)
Expanding Your Work Horizons (indegu.co.uk)

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Are you Living to Work? – Part 2

Do you have a philosophy for working life?

If the answer to this question, is I don’t have one, then you have a fundamental problem. We spend too much time at work for it to be unsatisfying. Recognising money is a crucial factor, and it is better to be in a job than unemployed, it is nonetheless a truism your job needs to provide positive stimulation as well.

Which is your attitude?

I just want to get there, pass the day and go home, at which point I will start living

I would prefer to do something which is interesting but, in reality, I only go for the money

It would be better if it is a decent company providing good products and services but the primary focus is my private life

For whom I work is important, the job must be interesting and pay level fair

I will not work for a brand I don’t like, the role must be stimulating and meet my values

Maybe you would use a slightly different description, but most people fall broadly into one of these categories.

So, if your attitude today does fall into the final approach, does it have to be the same in the future? Which one would you like to be in?

How can you change? The key word in this question is “you.” Change can only occur if you want it and take action to achieve it.

Why do you feel as you do now? Is it as simple as you have never given these issues any thought? Did you drift into a job and, even though it doesn’t stir you, it is what it is?

Are you ambitious? What does ambition mean to you?

Is it your philosophy that the workplace is a dog-eat-dog environment, so there are no limits to behaviour aimed at reaching the top?

Or do you think the business benefits best from co-operation and that type of behaviour will be rewarded?

Rob Ball
Contact:
07850 954075
rob.ball@workhorizons.com
rob.ball@naturallyconcerned.com

Websites:
Work Horizons – Organisational renewal through engaged, productive people
Naturally Concerned – Developing Better Business Leaders
www.framingourfuture.com

Books:
Beating the Wisdom of Hindsight: 75 Ways to Pursue Fulfilment and Avoid Regrets eBook : Ball, Rob:
Amazon.co.uk
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Time-Sponges-Overcoming-behaviours-absorb/

Online Programs:
Empower Change by Learning to Live Well (indegu.co.uk)
Expanding Your Work Horizons (indegu.co.uk)

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Are you Living to Work? – Part 1

Personal Thinking – Ten questions to ask yourself:

Do I feel fulfilled today? 
Are there aspects of my life which are thoroughly fulfilling and others which fall short? 
What is stopping me from pursuing a certain path? 
If there were no constraints on me, what would I want to do, what would I like to be?
If I knew I could not fail, what would I attempt?
Do I have a clear set of personal values?
Am I able to live my life according to my values?
Does employment ever operate in ways which conflict with my values?
How often do I compromise and feel uncomfortable doing so?
Is it ever too late to make changes in my life?

Rob Ball
Contact:
07850 954075
rob.ball@workhorizons.com
rob.ball@naturallyconcerned.com

Websites:
Work Horizons – Organisational renewal through engaged, productive people
Naturally Concerned – Developing Better Business Leaders
www.framingourfuture.com

Books:
Beating the Wisdom of Hindsight: 75 Ways to Pursue Fulfilment and Avoid Regrets eBook : Ball, Rob:
Amazon.co.uk
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Time-Sponges-Overcoming-behaviours-absorb/

Online Programs:
Empower Change by Learning to Live Well (indegu.co.uk)
Expanding Your Work Horizons (indegu.co.uk)

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Expanding Your Work Horizons

Given a chance, everyone would prefer a job which has a level of
purpose and meaning; we all want to feel relevant.

And yet the vast majority of us aren’t satisfied:

• Gallup has found that 70% of people in a job are “actively
  disengaged”
• 25% of people who have retired are back at work, many
  because they still want to make a contribution
• If 25% of retirees are in a job the actual number feeling
  frustrated is much larger
• Employers may be reticent to take a chance on people
  returning to work; parents whose children are now at
  school, carers who are available, ex-services personnel,
  people returning from a bout of ill-health and those who
  have been unable to find a job.

Expanding Your Work Horizons is an online course designed to assist you to think through the issues, create a plan and to act on it.

https://training.indegu.co.uk/shop/business/expanding-your-work-
horizons/

Purchasing this program also gives access to the Work Horizons
website, at 50% usual price, which goes even deeper into these
issues.

Contact:
Rob Ball
rob.ball@workhorizons.com

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Returning to the Workplace

This is for parents and guardians, whose children are now at school, and now it’s time to return to the workplace.

There can be some serious challenges returning to work after years out of the workplace. Some of them are logistical – how to find work that fits around school pick-up times and school holidays – some are psychological – is it even possible do get back into a career and work mindset – and some are practical – just how do I approach my job hunt?

Preparing your mindset for returning to work

Everyone’s situation and circumstances are different, so there is no simple template or process to follow. For anyone job hunting there are pressures and frustrations, but for you there may be the overlaid issues of childcare, running the home and balancing numerous metaphorical plates simultaneously.

From our discussions with many parents, mainly moms, we know there are a range of psychological issues to confront even before the job hunt process begins. Of course, not all of these are applicable to all parents and guardians but to consider some general headings:

– Guilt. It may sound harsh to begin with a big downer, but it is very real for some people. The expectations of society generally, of family and the “moral overseers” can impose pressure, even though it might be subtle.

– Nerves. It has been so long since you were in a workplace and, presumably, much has changed. Remember presumption is the mother of fools; you will be amazed at how much is the same but later we will reflect on some changes.

– Confidence, or lack of it. You will need to deal with this directly, either with a coach (friend or professional) or think through the issues for yourself. This won’t be easy, but you have many strengths, and they have to be your focus.

– Threats to your current way of life. If you do nothing, nothing can change for the worse; it certainly can’t change for the better and the frustrations, restrictions and inertia will continue. It could impact on your relationship if your partner doesn’t understand how you feel.

If there is one theme which will permeate through all of our advice, it is ensure great communication: with your family and friends, any coach, any agency, and all prospective employers. To achieve this it is fundamental to recognise this comes from the three aspects of communication:

– Transmission. The things we say or write, the way we say them and when we say them.

– The capacity of the other person to receive the message.

– The success of the other person to understand the message.

Communication is one of the least well performed activities, yet it is one we all practise the most. 

Do you have valuable assets?

The questions we are asked frequently are:

– Are my skills still relevant?

– What if I have forgotten everything?

– How will I be able to catch up with the changes in technology?

– How will I be able to have conversations with adults, after years of dealing with young children?

– What have I got to offer an employer?

The first thing to recognise is these are very typical and, if you have any self-doubts, it is a normal reaction. Don’t beat yourself up for having these thoughts.

You don’t lose skills, albeit they may need to be revisited and updated. What courses could you take now?

Mankind is a species which loves to learn and your capacity to acquire new information has not diminished just because you haven’t been in the world of work.

You will be able to have “proper” conversations, just remember not to treat your boss like four-year-old!!

Perhaps the most important aspect of this return to work to think through is, what additionally have I to offer? Some perspectives:

– Looking after children in a huge demonstration of your ability to accept responsibility

– You have been dealing with new challenges every day and doing so successfully

– You have been adapting your communication skills to a very wide range of audiences

– Health and Safety are you raison d’etre

– You have been working 24/7 for years

– You can balance priorities and react to mini-crises

– You have become more creative and lateral thinking

– You have dealt with complex logistical issues

In essence, you are remarkable and a hero. Far from lacking self-confidence, you should be proud of your achievements and your successes. The key is being able to describe your extra talents to prospective employers and, crucially, be able to give examples in a manner which demonstrates transferability to the workplace.

Why?

Why do you want to work? 

Of course, for most people returning to the workplace a key factor is money. Extra mouth(s) to feed, savings diminishing, pressure on the partner to provide, sacrifices already made and the need to live a slightly less restricted life.

There are parts of your brain and psyche unfulfilled. Emotionally, looking after children is very satisfying but not intellectually.

You have loads to offer, society, your family, an employer, the community…

There may be a sense of it’s now or never. Whilst this isn’t true in itself, there may be a growing feeling of distance between you and the workplace.

You can do something which will make a difference. Life isn’t just transactional, there are times when each of us can be impactful.

Why are you considering a specific type of work?

Are you only thinking about going back into the same type of role you were in before childcare? Why?

Are you “managing your own expectations”? Are you only thinking about junior roles, even when you have great potential?

Are you making a compromise, even before exploring what is available?

Have you lost confidence in yourself to learn new skills?

Do you think you don’t have leadership talents?

Hopefully, you are reading these questions and thinking something like, I am better than “the me” for which I am giving myself credit. Do not underestimate or undersell yourself. The clever part of job hunting is translating the things you do naturally into tangible examples an employer can see will be valuable.

Why do you not want to do some things?

Is this a point of principle? Have you described your principles and values clearly? For many people any job in a tobacco company would be totally unacceptable but what about in the nuclear energy sector? How would some industries feel for vegetarians? You need to think through these questions.

Are some jobs too physically demanding? Do you have limitations, or have you allowed yourself to become unfit?

Do you know some jobs would be too boring? How do you know? What have you done to establish the types of roles which would marry with your personality and preferences? In our changing world what research have you done into the sorts of work available?

Why are you prevaricating?

It isn’t about making decisions, it is about taking actions. You need to know what you are looking for and, together with the people that matter to you, have made decisions but your biggest enemy is inertia. Get on with it.

This may not be the exact right time to apply for jobs, but it may be the time to carry out your research or undertake some training.

How many people do you need to “approve” your decision to go back to work? Don’t allow yourself to find excuses. This is easy to say but caught up in the mayhem of day-to-day life more difficult to do. Only you can make thigs happen.

Why does the thought of something motivate or demotivate you? 

Some ideas, businesses, organisations or causes stir us. They make us want to be involved, they are the difference between getting out of bed in the morning and bouncing out of bed. Alternatively, they make us think up excuses for staying in bed.

What would excite you? Who inspires you?

What turns you off? Who do you dislike? 

Do you know what you want from a job? Do you know what it looks like and how to find it?

There is a fascinating book by Simon Sinek, entitled Start with Why. It is the right place to begin.

The logistics of being employed

How much flexibility do you need?

What hours can you work?

What are the childcare arrangements?

How far can you travel to work?

How will you get there?

What will happen if a child has a virus?

Is it possible to work from home?

What are your support mechanisms?

By asking these, possibly difficult questions, we are NOT trying to put you off seeking a job. We do believe for yourself and a potential employer you need to know the answers. 

Enlightened employers will make accommodations and adjustments for parents because they know they are valuable people. They recognise being a good employer generates loyalty, commitment, and productivity. Sadly, that isn’t every employer and part of your research will be to look into the culture of prospective employers.

At an interview the employer cannot ask questions which may be discriminatory. Therefore, it may be a good idea to take the initiative and to demonstrate you have thought about potential issues, know the answers and will be a thoroughly diligent asset to them. Impress with your forethought and commitment. Remember, you are trying to differentiate yourself positively from any other candidates.

Personal Parameters

Do you know how much you want or need to earn?

Have you calculated in any costs of childcare?

Have you considered the by-products of a career (more than a job)? Travel, long hours, taking work home, being on call 24/7, the stresses and pressures or exciting contrast with the mundane aspects of life?

We have already considered the logistics of being employed, this is more about the psychological aspects.

There will be feelings of guilt for “abandoning the child(ren).

There may be discomfort at imposing on friends and relatives to absorb part of the role bringing up and keeping safe the kids.

There may be tensions with a partner who believes you should remain at home.

However, the greatest issue may be the one that work becomes the preferred place to be. It excites, it challenges, it gives clear successes, it provides the intellectual stimulation not available at home. This does not say don’t go for it, it says be aware of it and make sure you have the fabulous balance that is available. Create the right environment to be successful in every aspect of your life and the lives of the people you love and those who employ you. In simple terms, be the best person you can be, but to achieve that you first have to describe what that person looks like.

Finding employment processes

The best piece of advice is plan, do not imagine you can be haphazard in your approach or can busk an interview. Think the 5 Ps; Proper Preparation Prevents Poor Performance.

Job Sources

– It is estimated 70% of all vacancies aren’t advertise, so use all of your connections

– JobCentrePlus are notified of some

– Even in the 21st Century, a few are in newspapers

– Agencies have many, but some agencies are less effective than others; do your research for agencies operating in the area of your interest

– There are numerous online sites showing jobs in different sectors

The CV

– Two pages

– No typos or mistakes

– NO LYING

– Emphasise achievements rather than responsibilities

– Tailor to the vacancy

Recruitment Processes

– Most people assume there will be an interview, so why are so many people underprepared, including knowing what your own CV says

– Be ready to ask intelligent questions

– Take your time and don’t gabble

– If you don’t understand the question, ask for clarity

– Be bold and don’t undersell yourself and don’t think the interviewers will instantly recognise your value. Help them by telling them evidence

– Give examples. Saying you can do something has 10% of the value of an explanation of a time when you did it

– There may be other elements such as psychometric testing, practicals, trial periods and assessment centres

Rejection

– It will probably happen to everyone, and you need to be resilient

– It is a statement there was someone with more relevant experience, not that you are a bad person

– Think through any lessons to be learned

An offer

– It will happen

– Is it a job you really want?

– Is the wage/salary negotiable?

– Are you waiting to hear about another job application which you might prefer? It is the result of an obscure law of fate that this may occur

– Even if this isn’t the perfect job there will be oodles of learning opportunities, it is easier to get a job when you are in one, it pays, and it will re-stimulate positive habits

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A Winter’s Day

It was 28^th February, the last day of Winter, according to Meteorologists. There was a faint drizzle of rain and gentle breeze. My dog and I were walking across a park at 7 o’clock in the morning.

Hunched up against the elements a young guy scurried past. Very tall, anoraked and wearing tight light coloured trousers, he was a contrast with the dog walkers who are always prepared for the conditions. Most days my only thought would have reflected my sympathy for the lad as he ‘had’ to go to work, the imposition of the stark contrast to the life he may have preferred. For no obvious reason, on this occasion there was a pang of envy. Pinning down its source wasn’t easy but perhaps it came from the sense he was at the start of his career and the possibilities it offered, or the opportunity to make a difference to the lives of his colleagues and clients. I love the way my work dovetails into the rest of my life and its flexibility, so the sensation dissipated very quickly. The interesting question would be, how does the young man crossing the park feel about his employment and his employer?

More relevant to my day was the imminence of breakfast.

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